That annoying alarm goes off. Not that the sound itself is annoying. No, in fact, I picked a sound that I would like to hear first thing every morning. The very fact that it goes off at all is annoying. I’ve always hated the alarm. But, I can’t rely on myself to get up on time otherwise.
So, the alarm goes off. I shut it down and lie there. There is nowhere that I need to be today. I could stay in bed where I’m comfortable. Yet, I kick the covers to the side and remove my CPAP nasal mask anyway. Immediately I’m covered in cat. Flash is on my tummy kneading away without regard to his twelve pounds alternatingly pushing on me.
The debate ensues again. And, the earworm attacks. Should I stay, or should I go now? Ha! I gave it to you, didn’t I? Now, I try to remember who sang it. (It’s The Clash, I looked it up.)
Well, hello, Tuffy. I have both cats now. He’s flopped over on his back on my shoulder looking at me upside down. I have no choice at this point. The cats will not stop since they know I’m awake. It’s a go now. Hahaha!
Why do I even set an alarm with me being retired on disability? Structure. It is essential to me to have some sort of semblance to my former working world. Otherwise, I’d go into a deep depression and stop enjoying life. That is not someplace I want to go.
I’m still lying here petting both of my cats. My mind is starting to wander as is this blog post. My TBR pile is getting bigger. What will I have for lunch today? Make sure to change the bed sheets. Too bad I didn’t have Gary make me a pot of decaf coffee before he left. Do we have any packages being delivered today? Our cruise is coming up soon. And, so on, and, so forth.
Finally, I push out of bed and go about my morning routine. It has been twenty minutes since the alarm sounded.
As I sit here pecking away at the keyboard writing this blog I am trying desperately to remember the four blogs that I outlined while trying to go to sleep the past few nights. It’s amazing how creative one can be while tossing and turning away the hours. You would think that I’d had the sense to at least jot down a few of my ideas on my cell phone before the sheep found me. But no, I can’t for the life of me come up with a single idea from that nocturnal restlessness.
Yesterday I had tons of creative juice flowing through my veins and wrote two book reviews in a matter of minutes. Today nada. It’s as if the faucet was turned off. I guess that is what writers’ block is all about. I’m way behind on my reading. And, I haven’t studied for my HAM license like I should. So, what is it that has my mojo out of whack? I can’t blame my disability anymore as I am so much better and able to do so much more. So, I’m thinking it’s a slight bout of depression. Nothing serious. More aggravating than anything else. It too shall pass.
The more I can do the more I want to do. Patience forgets to come along part of the time. Then, of course, the pain hits me and tells me to slow down. I can’t even remember a life without pain. No, I do not take narcotics though I could if I asked my doctors. It’s generic Tylenol and Aleve along with muscle relaxers and ice or heat packs that usually work. I do my best not to take them very much. The liver apparently doesn’t like them or so I’ve been told.
Tax season is finally over! Yay! That means my husband is back to a regular 8 to 5 schedule. Aha! I bet that’s it. His odd work hours over the past 4 months have thrown my schedule out of sync too. I had not thought of that until now. It’s as good an excuse as any, very plausible, and most definitely possible. Dang. I see daylight at the end of the tunnel now! I feel better just knowing this week will be the beginning of my turn around. Creativity will smack me right upside the head now and I’ll beat this keyboard to death with all my words.
So, there you go. The more I write the more I think. The more I think the more ideas come to the forefront. And before long there will be blog after blog written with such insight. I feel like Arthur when he pulled Excalibur out of that stone. My heart is just a thumping away with anticipation. My feet are tapping in tune. Watch out! I’m back!